crushed by a banana.

FOREVERRRR. ):

2008-09-26T09:40:00.004+08:00

Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored. Yes, bored. Since boredom is killing me over here, I'm considering whether to move my blog just to kill time. :D I'm thinking of joining the dark side - Xanga! Simply for the smilies and for the footprints shiz. >:D Maybe. I'll think about it!

I can't stand ittttt. Two weeks feels like foreverrrrr. ): Though it's only been day three but still. FOREVERRRRR. ):

{Edit/}

MOVED.

And so I've decided to do it.

CLICK HERE.

Hello lazy ass.

2008-09-25T13:33:00.003+08:00

I think I screwed up my English exam! Anyhow, I don't have school tomorrow because tomorrow's the MT paper so yes, I'm still deciding how to productively spend tomorrow. I don't feel like blogging. I feel like eating Honey Stars. Goodbye.

Gossip girl phone in two weeks!

Da ba dee da ba die.

2008-09-24T20:08:00.008+08:00

I slept like a pig this whole afternoon. Hohoho. Tomorrow's my first exam - English. Truthfully, I'm kind of afraid. Usually, when I'm about to take my exams, I know my stuff but as I reach the hall, I totally space out and forget it all. ): And this time, I had better not forget anything because I'm going into the hall with absolutely no effort to study at all.

But there's an unexplainable confidence as well. I know its you, Daddy. (:

You cry.

{Edit/}

OH GOSH, CLIFTON TAN. HAHAHA. Censored _. :D Kay, because its not very obvious, he was copying and pasting what I said.

celine m. says (9:03 PM):
I DON'T TALK TO YOU.
celine m. says (9:03 PM):
I TALK TO _.
celine m. says (9:03 PM):
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
cliftontan - My Lady! <3 says (9:03 PM):
LOL
cliftontan - My Lady! <3 says (9:03 PM):
_ JUST GOT ON
celine m. says (9:03 PM):
HAHAHAHA.
cliftontan - My Lady! <3 says (9:03 PM):
NUBCAEK
celine m. says (9:03 PM):
i know.
celine m. says (9:03 PM):
which is why i said _.
celine m. says (9:03 PM):
HAHAHA.
celine m. says (9:03 PM):
DUUUUH.
cliftontan - My Lady! <3 says (9:03 PM):
celine m. says (9:03 PM):
I DON'T TALK TO YOU.
celine m. says (9:03 PM):
I TALK TO _.
cliftontan - My Lady! <3 says (9:03 PM):
celine m. says (9:03 PM):
I DON'T TALK TO YOU.
celine m. says (9:03 PM):
I TALK TO _.
cliftontan - My Lady! <3 says (9:03 PM):
celine m. says (9:03 PM):
I DON'T TALK TO YOU.
celine m. says (9:03 PM):
I TALK TO _.
cliftontan - My Lady! <3 says (9:03 PM):
celine m. says (9:03 PM):
I DON'T TALK TO YOU.
celine m. says (9:03 PM):
I TALK TO _.
cliftontan - My Lady! <3 says (9:03 PM):
celine m. says (9:03 PM):
I DON'T TALK TO YOU.
celine m. says (9:03 PM):
I TALK TO _.
cliftontan - My Lady! <3 says (9:03 PM):
i'm gonna invite _ here right now
celine m. says (9:03 PM):
EH NO.
celine m. says (9:03 PM):
i'm going to sleep.
cliftontan - My Lady! <3 says (9:03 PM):
make sure you talk to _
celine m. says (9:03 PM):
):
cliftontan - My Lady! <3 says (9:03 PM):
nubcaek
celine m. says (9:03 PM):
NOOOO.
cliftontan - My Lady! <3 says (9:03 PM):
here goes!
cliftontan - My Lady! <3 says (9:03 PM):
HELLO _

Apple bits.

2008-09-23T15:19:00.001+08:00

Exams, noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Freaking kill me already. ):

I wish, I do.

2008-09-22T14:26:00.001+08:00

In commemoration that I've reached home so early, (for the first time) I shall say this :

YAYYYY, I REACHED HOME SO EARLY!

Driving alone and the street is cold.

2008-09-21T14:47:00.003+08:00

'Loneliness can't be replaced, it has to be filled.'

_, thinking back about what you said, the past doesn't define who you are and who you'll be. Trust me, believe me.

The pain won't go away.

2008-09-20T09:03:00.003+08:00

Weak.

I set my alarm to wake me up at six, this morning, just to complete my Math homework and use the rest of the day for Art. Madness. I need to studyyy, not do Arttttt. I hate prep work so bad.

And you'd need the balls to be appreciating it.

But you knew you had a spark, did you?

2008-09-20T00:00:00.002+08:00

Or was it all just lies?

It was you I was thinking of.

2008-09-18T20:44:00.001+08:00

I've been studying really hard for the past few days. (:

Because you told me to. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

How did we go wrong?

2008-09-17T14:59:00.002+08:00

Gaaaah, save me from dumbness. ): I feel so stressed and they were right, I wasted precious studying minutes yesterday crying over the fact that everything was just so hopeless and it isn't me to break down over such a small matter! But I did study for five hours yesterday! (Personal best! And I know its really short but whateverrr) I just hate being dumb, I just hate it so much. ):

I shall go watch things then study. BYE.

Too much of a song.

2008-09-15T18:57:00.004+08:00

Arzzie and I crashed afternoon study today. :D We accompanied Dianah in her journey to study! At the same time, we embarked onto the study journey as well. (Because we barely started. HAHAHA.) It was slightly productive, I guess. (: I helped Dianah with Bio! Finally, something I'm useless for. :D I just hope I didn't teach her the wrong things. HAHAHA.

Anyway, someone posed as Eunice to reply my message and made it so obvious. >:( Eunice doesn't even type like that kay! NOOB. HAHAHA. :D Dang, I sound evil. Hohoho.

I want to batheeee. Then read chapter one of Chem, after which, I will watch my stuff. GOODBYE. Oh oh, I screwed up my Art exam too, but I managed to complete it. (In the most awful manner) Goodbye A1.

What if I told you, Imy.

No matter what I say or do, The message isn't getting through.

2008-09-13T07:54:00.001+08:00

My friend, I miss you. Sometimes, I wished you did too. Sometimes, I wished you still cared. Why is it, you can go on perfectly fine without me but yet, I can't? Did I really mean that little to you?

And time's running out as often it does
And often dictates if you can't do that
Fate can't break this feeling inside
That's burning up through my veins

Three hundred and six days. I've been counting.

Till the morning light.

2008-09-12T19:27:00.009+08:00

There's no time left.

Screwed fourty percent of my Art exam today. I really do feel so angst, I've only got one and a half hour more to finish it on Monday and I'm only one-ninth done. Also, I've only scored sixty-seven for the twenty percent which I'm so frustrated about. Its the lowest I've ever scored and its not even a A2! Arghhhh. My best subject! Saying that I'm upset is an understatement of how I'm feeling towards the sixty-seven.

After school, studied with Panya and Eunice. Actually, it doesn't exactly qualify as studying. ): I've only learnt two things today. Literally. I'm hopeless, I really am. I need you, I do. Tell me to study, and I will. I really will, just like the past. Tell me to study. Motivate me, even if its just one word, 'Study.' I want to hear it from you, nobody else. Tell me.

I'm going to bathe, watch my weeklies, wake up at an unearthly hour tmrw, and study. I will skip tmrw's trng, and I will study during that time even if its one hour after the actual starting of trng. If not, trust me, I'll be pissed.

She likes to leave you hanging.

2008-09-11T18:42:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING COURT. :D
You know I love youuuu. (: P.S. help me tell Eunice that she's so mean.

OKAY, TIME TO GO BACK TO ART.

Where does the good g?

2008-09-10T20:22:00.003+08:00

I've been so busy I just want to drop dead and die. Tonight will be a less sleeping night for me. ): Lately, because of homework and studies and Art, I've been missing my self-given bedtime - Eight o'clock. Which sucks! >:(

Oh and during POA,

Mrs T, "B/D is like a little brother of B/C, you can never forget B/D. So you know what's a little brother?"
Celine, "It's a dick."
Mrs T, "HUH REALLY?"

:O, she didn't know. HAHAHA. Anyway, it did humor the class a little and did reduce the post examination stress. :D But for the record, I am not a dirty minded person. ):

I had my English Orals today as well. Did so badly kay. ): Oh, and I faked an accent. :D Because my invigilator was British and had this heavy accent so I thought maybe if I sounded British, she would be bias and give me more marks. :D Which of course, didn't work because of my lack of content and my pauses inbetween ever half a sentence. ):

ANYWAY, GOODBYE BECAUSE I HAVE MUCH HOMEWORK AND ART TO DO. >:(

Study study study!

2008-09-08T23:38:00.004+08:00

YES, PAGE TWO IS DOWN. :D Stupid Art, hate Art, Art sucks! Five pages due on friday and I have three more pages to go! Goodness, how am I ever going to finish and still squeeze in mugging time and training and all that stuff. ):

Today will be my last training. Yes, today will be. >:( No more, Celine, no more no matter how much you really need it! But argh, I still have to bowl for some shiz, after that, no more! Pfft.

Studies will be my number one priority! Speaking of which, I'm going to study, bathe, sleep, wake up, do homework. Goodbye!

Will you be my study buddy? (:

The right way to go about this,

2008-09-07T13:52:00.003+08:00

'Then we could stop pretending as though we still have something in common'

Again, all that, just to watch you walk away. And to think I was that dumb to give chase. imy.

No one told me
How bad I need you
But I somehow arrived
To that conclusion all by myself
And I want

.. you, back.

All the stars and boulevards aren’t close enough to you.

2008-09-06T08:49:00.001+08:00

Scream my lungs out and tried to get to you.

If I told you, that was enough, would you believe me? Where are you?

{Edit}

Hohoho, I did so badly for SSL. Okay, in fact, I did terribly. But my total ave increased by one pin, I'm so happy. :D HAHAHA. But anyway, my overall ave sucks. -.- I think my ave will only be last qualifier at most? Ahh, my bowling sucks. >:(

Tomorrow, I will study. Today, I will do Art. Two minutes, and I'll call Eunice, because I'm bored.

You probably don't know this but Shhh..

2008-09-05T22:50:00.003+08:00

Emo is a teenage model! :O To be, at least. Someone's already booked him! :D

Ayleen and Tracy Banks. HAHAHA. >:D

I think today was a little productive? Maybe. (: Rather, hopefully. (Much thanks to Eunice btw, for movitivating me to study <3) Oh and Emo forced me to eat at Atrium. So suck-ish kay. ): Don't like the food there for nuts. Plus! Gerald's such a loser. HEH. (Out of point but whateverrr) Today was fun, yes, fun. (:

Will you please?

You're the voice I hear inside my head.

2008-09-04T18:31:00.005+08:00

I would just like to say, I want my Carl's Junior's Beef Chili Cheese Fries,

And that I miss you too.

{Edit}

Omgosh, Emo! You're so freaking awesome for studying with me tomorrow. :D Aren't you just excited! You get to spend a day with me kay. HAHAHA. But I seriously love you for making tomorrow productive (I hope >:D) And I did not mail you please. Cheat meee. ):

I should have known I was dreaming.

2008-09-03T20:03:00.000+08:00

You have absolutely no idea what it's been like without you.

So unreachable, so untouchable.

GOSSIP GIRL.

2008-09-02T12:58:00.003+08:00

GOSSIP GIRL IS OUT, BAYBEH.

And since I'm so way cool, I'll leave the links here for happy watchers. :D Click here for season two episode one, and click here for all the episodes. Anyway, I sound like some no-lifer that only watches scandalous dramas.

167 cm! Only six more centimeters to grow! Grow, Celine, Groooow. Go go go!

I'm going to watch it now and go out with Eunice after that. Okay, bye.

It's like I've waited my whole life.

2008-09-01T22:01:00.005+08:00

I AM FAMISHED.
Feel the wrath of the hungry.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am pleased to announce to you that I have resources that reveal Gossip Girl season two comes out today in America. Therefore, it'll probably be uploaded online tomorrow or the day after. Or the day after the day after. :D

Euniceeee. <3

Can I break the spell of the typical?

2008-08-31T17:17:00.003+08:00

I hate this feeling of being useless, I hate it. Everyone's bowling is improving, and all I've been doing is deteriorating. I'm wasting half a damn decade of trying and getting nowhere, in the end. I couldn't feel anymore frustrated with myself. I want to be better than this, I do, but I'm so unsure of myself. And today didn't help uplift myself the least bit.

I tried doing a Math test paper today, I left practically half the entire paper blank. I just made two chapters worth of Bio notes the day before yesterday and when I tried testing myself on whatever I've copied, I forgot it all. Damn it, Celine, it was only two damn days ago. Shit shit shit. You're not doing anything to help yourself, you're not studying, how do you expect to do well? Screeeeew.

I want to be somebody else, anybody else, just not me.

Baby, you turn the temperature hotter .

2008-08-30T20:43:00.003+08:00

celine m. says (8:39 PM):
has your school term started yet?
nic . says (8:39 PM):
hahahh no...
nic . says (8:39 PM):
it's on tuesday
nic . says (8:39 PM):
but i have orientation in 20 minutes,which is why i'm up this ridiculously early
nic . says (8:39 PM):
seriously,i'm dizzy

Goodness, I miss you so much, Nic! ): Growing up with you and having you as my elder sister for the longest time, and suddenly you're so far away in Texas. (Which happens to be half a globe across where I currently am) Being away from your goose-ness is not cool, not cool at all. >:(

Eunice and Emo are so awesome. I have no idea why but the smallest conversation I have with either one of them really makes my day, and today I had a conversation with both of them. :D

I'm tired and my legs are aching from phone shopping. So goodbye!

asdfgiamalazyassandihatemyselfhjkl.

Every window pane is shattering.

2008-08-29T14:48:00.003+08:00

I freaking want to give up now. I really don't want to start studying. Nothing goes in and even if a fraction does, it doesn't stay in anyway. I've never felt as dumb as I currently do. I don't even know what the heck is wrong with me anymore. I don't even want to try. I just can't to do anything right, can I?

In the past, you were my motivation. That's why.

Emo, can you come online and say something to me? ):

I think I'm breaking out
I'm gonna leave you now
Theres nothing for me here, it's all the same
And even though I know
That everything might go
Go downhill from here, I'm ~~not~~ afraid

Way away away from here I'll be
Way away away so you can see
How it feels to be alone and not believe (Feels to be alone and not believe)
Feels to be alone and not believe anything

Beneath the noise, below the din, I hear your voice. It's whispering.

2008-08-28T20:45:00.003+08:00

Emo, you horny shiz! Tsktsktsk. You totally miss me cannn. Don't deny it. >:D

I can't find the subjects to be posting about, therefore, I shaln't. Goodbye!

Sometimes you can't make it on your own

Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days.

2008-08-27T18:51:00.002+08:00

I don't even know who am I anymore. This past year, I've been doing nothing more but trying to change myself for the better. Killing old habits by instilling better ones? I know that's not me. I know its not.

When I look at you, I wonder who's the one that changed because frankly, I really do want to know. I want to know if you still care. I want to know what I still am to you. There's so much I want to say, and so much I want to ask but I know if I do, I'll end up hurting you.

I know I've said I'm done trying, but I guess, I'm just too dumb not to care. When laziness is what tears us apart and you don't seem the least bit concern. Anymore. Guess how I feel? Hah.

Anyway! Came back after attempting to study with Tau and Daryl just now. :D Tau explained Math to me. WOOHOO, TAU. (: Tau rocks so much kayyy! Tried doing my Accounts homework. O_o Tried. Wanted to study for Geog but I guess I couldn't be bothered to. ): I'm getting immune to my laziness! (Plus my upcoming one week holiday is going to make me lazier) I NEED MY MOTIVATION.

Someone be my new bestfriend and motivate me to study. ):

Oh and Audrey's going to do super duper well for her A Math paper, I know it. (: A1 A1 A1!

Why do you do this so easily?

2008-08-26T19:00:00.005+08:00

All that I was really begging for was just to have ownership of my life back again. I can't remember the last time I made a decision for myself. Can you imagine? Can you imagine the thing that gave you hope, gave you something to live on, now causing you the most of your misery? You can't.

Everyday of my life is already planned by you, I don't have a say in anything. The slightest freedom of choice, that's all I want. But of course, will never obtain. You said after I reach some certain level, I'll get a say in my life. What if I told you, I'll never go there. I'll never get there. Why can't you just accept the fact that I'll never be good enough?

Maybe not in the bowling circle, but I see it in school. After school. Weekends. Weekdays. Everyday, I see people of my age going home, doing basic things like studying, playing, meeting friends. But you don't let me do anything of that such because you take away all the time I have and asking you for a day to myself is like asking you to kill yourself.

It used to bring me smiles and excitement. Now all it ever does is make me cry, it makes me cry. You make this into nothing more than a chore. I just want my life back, please.

I've seen you walk unafraid.

2008-08-25T19:37:00.002+08:00

I was planning to study today but Art was really draining. ): Marianne and I were so sleepy after drawing a little and I've got a lot more to go. ):

PE was the best! Marianne had cramps + bad mood, and we had to play badminton but I decided to make Marianne play because of the Endorphins thingy so she'd lighten up. (: But we played as she sat down so she didn't have to move too much. It was super funny. Eventually, Marianne got up to play anyway and she was really quite happy for a while. (: Seeeeeeee, I bring happiness to people's lives! (Fish die, I think this would be so familiar to you) Debra and Ange were super bored though!

I'm going to conquer at least five chapters this week! I MUST.

And I miss you when you're not around

Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am.

2008-08-24T20:24:00.003+08:00

I WALKED HOME BY MYSELF, AT NIGHT AND IN THE DARK. :D Mummy didn't have to come down to pick me up! Nor did Tau have to walk me home! And no, I didn't cab. I walked home by myself in the dark kay. :D I don't think I've ever been so proud of myself before! I WALKED HOME BY MYSELFFFF. HAHHHH, IN YOUR FACE, MISTER BOOGIE MAN. :D But I will admit this, I was freaking out while walking home. ):

Came home after studying + terribly playing pool (This only refers to me) with Tau and David. (:

Anyway, dang, here I thought I've got it bad for Art. Wait till you hear what the F&N and Drama girls get! No studying subjects required so much time and hard work. ): But then again, studying subjects takes up too much brain space. I earnestly don't know what I'm going to do because End Years are coming and I know absolutely nothing. So lazy. >:(

When you're ready, I will be too. But till then, don't act like you still care. You don't notice, but you always make it so obvious.

Sipping whiskey out the bottle, not thinking 'bout tomorrow.

2008-08-23T23:15:00.003+08:00

My hand-eye coordination is at a negative level. ): Well, in this case, leg-eye coordination because I sooo suck at DDR. HAHAHA. :D Just came home after this really long day with Tauzzie and Auzzie. Today wasn't as productive as I hoped it would be because I was really really erm. High? From laughing at Auzzie's If-You-Hit-My-Head,-I'll-Grow-Shorter thingy.

Oh yes, I'm so fattttttt. >:(

Emo! I don't go for trng then you complain. ): I message you then you go sleep. ): OKAY LORRR. I still love you. (:

I can't stop thinking about you so will you just go away? ): Please. Not cool yo, not cool at all.

Is that the way we stand?

2008-08-22T14:56:00.005+08:00

Art's so stressful. I can't imagine working a whole year on just one piece, starting this November. ): My hopelessness, laziness, and dumbness makes it even worse for me. Sometimes I really wonder how the heck can anyone get as dumb as I can. >:( My studies is going down the drain and I'm doing no shiz about that fact!

Though its usually the most of my worries, its currently the least ; My bowling. It sucks so bad. One month without trng is going to make it even worse. Ahhhh, whatever.

NEED. TO. STUDY.
NEED. TO. GET. GOOD. GRADES.
NO. NEED. TO. GET. RETAINED.

Into oblivion, you say?

{Edit}

There's so much I wish I could tell you but really, does it still matter to you? Do I still make a significance in your life? Because its getting obvious, you just don't care anymore. No matter what I do or say, you'll forget it anyway. I'm tired of wasting my breath, my efforts. I'm so sick of waiting for something to change, or go back to the way it really was. But its done, its over, this I know for sure.

You know, right now, I really wish I still meant something to you. Because you still mean the world to me.

~~Or maybe, I could just forget you. Forget you were ever there~~.

I waited the whole year for you. I waited, and waited. But now, I'm done.

Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last.

2008-08-21T19:25:00.005+08:00

I've lost my inner peas as well! :O hummmmm. I can't concentrate on anything these days! How frustrating!

Bio today was horrible. The textbook and the notes Miss L gave us, were barely useful! Idk where she found all those questions from manxz. Geog and Chem tomorrow and yet I've not started studying. I've got Math homework and that's going to eat into my study time. ): I'm such a whiner that doesn't take action. >:D

My bowling is terrible, horri-gi-ble, vegetable!

Eunice didn't come for school today because she was sick. ): Get well soon, bugger! :D

And as for Amanda, may the forces be with you. (; winks. (But if the forces aren't with you, I'll be the fall back of it all, so I'll be with you. Thus, you have no choice but to cheer up! :D)

It don't take a genius to see he ain't that dude.

2008-08-20T15:31:00.003+08:00

I FEEL STRESSED.

Three test in the next two days and I have not studied a single bit. Tell me I'm dead. ): Plus, I've forgotten everything by now. Hohoho. So screwed. Anyway, School today was really fun. (: Oh and teachers hate me. >:( Well, nobody can blame them. HAHAHA. Balls, have I mentioned how excited I am to finally be studying with Audrey and Tau this coming weekend? Probably because I reaaally need to study and I haven't spoken to them in ages. :D

My conscience is harassing me to go study when I have already clearly told my conscience that I am lazy! >:( Stuuuupid.

I miss the IJ Sec 3 bowlers already. ): If only Uncle Billy would stop shuffling ourselves about, when it comes to lane assignments. ):

How? Tell me how.

Wonder when and where and how you're gonna make it.

2008-08-19T18:52:00.008+08:00

I have horrible English and Math. On the last post, I specifically typed 'Oh gosh, talking to these four is the love. :D' When in actual fact, it is only three people (Mistake due to including the name 'Celine' and apparently, the name 'Celine' answers to the owner of myself) and also, the number four is plural, therefore it should be, 'Oh gosh, talking to these four ARE the love.' Oh honey, both my English and Math suck so bad. Sucking at Math is also supported by today's failure in my test. HORRIBLE. >:(

I get highly harassed by my teammates. Horrible!

Some people say they own spare tires. I say I own bus tires! Horrible!

Oh yes, I think I did the dumbest thing yesterday. I was thirsty and there wasn't any cold water in the refrigerator, and the only beverage I had in the refrigerator was Vodka. So I decided to substitute water with Vodka even though I was never really fond of alcohol - First mistake. Second Mistake - being thirsty, I chose to be oblivious of alcohol's side effect, hence, I drank it rather fast. I incurred the punishment of a headache but I went on to studying anyway. Studying then enhanced my headache and I ALMOST DIEDDDDD. ): Horrible!

I need to get off my lazy ass to start studying. I shall make my study day out with Audrey and Tau a VERY VERY VERY productive one if not, I'll just cry. Horrible!

You believe and you doubt
You're confused, you got it all figured out
Everything that you always wished for
Could be yours, should be yours, would be yours
If they only knew

When I grow up, There will be a day.

2008-08-18T14:56:00.014+08:00

End years is in one week, one month. Truthfully, I've never felt so afraid of exams. Lately I've been getting lazier and lazier and haven't been scoring well for tests. I used to get at least B's and now I get like what? C minus? Annoying much! I want to be naturally smart and hardworking. ): Like Denise or something!

Smart people annoy me. ): With exception for some. :D Anyhow, I've got a Math and Chem test tomorrow so I'll start mugging at four, thirty maybe? I'll even try to squeeze in Geog and Bio today. Got back our POA results, C. Goodness. O_o Also finally got back our Repeated Pattens (Art) I share the same marks as Arzzy! But her's was gorgeous and mine really wasn't as pretty but yeah. ): Submission today sucked kay. ): My piece was so inferior to many. Argh argh argh. I hate Art.

The one month without training starts today. I think? Or maybe next week. Whichever, I need to buck up if not I'll get retained manxz, and I refuse to let my class position drop so I had better find my motivation again, of which I had alrdy lost a long long long time ago. ): Someone whom I listen to, please please PLEASE force me to study. ):

{Edit}

OH MY GOSH, THIS I HAVE TO BLOG ABOUT. (Warning ; Sexist + Stereotype. HAHAHA.) So there is the rain and thunder. Thus I messaged Denise.

Celine: denise. thunder. ): scary. ):
Denise: Omg i was about to message you 'THUNDER ):'

And normally, this would be a typical behaviour because girls + thunder = don't mix. But ten minutes later, I receive a message from Clifton.

Clifton: Omg celineeee. Thunder! I'm scared :(

HAHAHAHA. CLIFTON IS DAMN GAYYY. :D Oh and the second one!

g e r a l d t a n. says (10:59 PM):
omg thunder! ):
g e r a l d t a n. says (11:00 PM):
im scaredddddddddddddddddddddd.
g e r a l d t a n. says (11:00 PM):
hhah.
g e r a l d t a n. says (11:00 PM):
help me mokkky! ):

Oh gosh, talking to these four is the love. :D

Tonight you're falling in love.

2008-08-17T19:22:00.007+08:00

Oh gosh, I really really hate my art. I'm on the verge of ripping it apart! >:( But submission is tomorrow and this took me a long time to get partially done. ):

I bowled very badly today. What's new manxz. A lot of my shots hit pocket and yet ended up giving me either a split, two pins either that or a single pin. More often than not, split. I didn't even observe my ball too aggressive at the back end till Jerome pointed it out to me saying, "I wanted to tell you to change your ball earlier because it was acting too aggressive at the back end but I wanted to see you get enough splits." (Apologises to non-bowlers) BUT WHAT THE HECK. O_o Anyway, it was rather late because I was notified at the last few frames of the last game but well, it was good to find out my mistake I guess?

Why does everything have to be decided by you? My goals, life, everything. I know who I am and what I want. So what if I don't think I can make it, so what if I don't want it anymore. You just decide everything and I don't get to lead my life anymore. Everything has to go as planned, everything has to go the way you want it and whatever you said was my dream, ended up becoming yours and none of which has to do with me. Nothing you do spells out me being happy, rather, just boast your ego. You took everything away from me, everything was crushed by you, so why can't just this once, I get to have a say in my life?

Wish there was somewhere to hide.

2008-08-16T14:50:00.004+08:00

TODAY WAS SUPER FUN. I BOWLED LIKE A COW, I LOOKED LIKE SOME IDIOT AND IT WAS TOTALLY EMBARRASSING BUT IT WAS SO FUN. :D I've never bowled so badly yet enjoyed myself so much before. (: Sighh, today just reminds me of why I like(d) bowling. Today also probably killed everything I've ever worked for but "If you know its something you won't regret, then do it" And I know I won't regret today. (: I don't want to live my life for my past or my mother anymore! Hohoho.

FUN GROUP! = VERY FUN.
FUN GROUP! + STACY, RACHEL, JAN, CHERYL = EXTRAORDINARILY FUN. :D

Clifton is so gayyyyyy. :D He messages me about the most random things ever, also with his failed flying kisses! HAHAHA. And his accomplish, Gerald, which sings 'Always Be My Baby - David Cook' to creep me out. I've got the best friends on planet Earth! Oh yes, not forgetting the very retarded Denise that gets very excited every time Michael Phelps wins. Oh and Court + Eunice + Amanda whom got excited when they saw Denise and just wanted to tell me to make me delirious when I was already so flustered from being happy. I love my friends. :D Bowling with RG was the BOMB.

I AM HAPPYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Bright lights they cast a shadow.

2008-08-15T15:55:00.005+08:00

Something contradicting to start off my post ; I love my pillow. I hate Art. I love my pillow. I hate Art. I love my pillow. I hate Art.

Three more days, a lot of Art to be completed. Next week is going to be a blast. Three subject tests. >:( With many topics that will be covered in which. ): I hate studyinggg! And Art.

Trng tonight. I wonder what's the use of still going, after all, I already know its pointless. -.- Sec school league tmrw. Fun group! :D Circuit the following day. ):

Desperate situations comes with desperate measures! I need happy hormones! (Sick son of a _, think straight!) Endorphins or whatever it's called.

OKAY GOODBYE.

Already over - Red.

2008-08-14T19:15:00.002+08:00

I'd give it all to you
Letting go of me
Reaching as I fall
I know it's already over now
Nothing left to lose
Loving you again
I know it's already over, already over now

My best defense, running from you
I can't resist, take all you want from me
Breaking slowly

Why? I just want to know, why. I just need an answer, just an answer. I want to quit. Tell me what to do.

I need to get this off : Eunice is scary. Eunice is lezzie. Eunice has been sending me flying kisses. Eunice is highly disturbed. Eunice can't stop calling me 'Boyfriend.' Eunice doesn't know yet.

Daddy G, tell me what to do. I failed again.

And I just can't pull myself away.

2008-08-13T17:25:00.005+08:00

Teachers are unearthly creatures for the amount of torture they do and seem to enjoy.

Anyway, I think the kids of today are beganing to outsmart the teachers when it comes to hiding phones just before spot checks because so far, our class has had three to four spot checks and each time, none of us got caught. >:D I'm not telling the secret to it! Hohoho. I sound retarded. ):

Bowling for league tonight. Argh, horrible. Thankfully it's coming to an end.

EOYs soon. I'm terrified.

Oh yes, about the Samsung phones, I've been asking around.
Samsung Touch Wiz F480 : Two votes. Samsung SGH-F700 : Two votes. Neither : One vote. AHHHHHHH. STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. >:(

I'm over it, till the day I get it coming from them.

I'm not okay. You wear me out.

2008-08-12T19:59:00.005+08:00

Defeated, once again. Tell me, am I really that useless? Tell me that wasn't all for nothing. Defeated. Again. Is that all my life's worth? Endless failure and separation? Is that all?

I've let people down for the second time. I'm sorry, dear. I'm just not as strong as you make me out to be.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. OKAY, MAYBE I JUST SUCK.

Yeah, I probably do.

And these words are bringing me so deeply insane.

2008-08-11T15:32:00.006+08:00

EUNICE IS PERV-ING OVER TOM DALEY. Though he is very very talented at diving but she's obsessively stalking him! Fourteen and competing in the Olympics! Proooo.

It is so funny watching Olympics with Eunice. :D

See the canyons broken by cloud.

2008-08-11T07:08:00.014+08:00

I'm having issues sleeping. I've been waking up at unbelievable timings. I'm tired, extremely.

Banana Bits is going to die on me soon because I've been using it more than ever and I use it a lot during ever.

I'm not going to do my art. I'm not going to study. I'm going to slack.

I'm in a horrible mood now. ): Anyway, even with a thing against Samsung phones, I've decided I might just get either one of these two :

I wanted the Samsung F700 (Key padded one) more than Samsung Touch Wiz F480 but F700 is just FAT. ): But I love the key pad. How how how. ): Kay, I shall go ask Clifton since he's the technology geek. :D :D Heehee.

Aww, ytd was the COE assessment and I must say, I did not bowl very well. ): A lot of shots were like, drop ball. BOOM. Drop ball. BAM. Drop ball. WHAM. Drop ball. Emooo. ): Jerome msged all of us this morning. It's quite sad to say we wouldn't be under him anymore. (Yes, Court. I know you must be very excited reading this, because this is coming from me after one good year of complaining.) Anyhow, I want to know the results so badly. ):

I'm going back to sleep and hopefully when I wake up, I'll be in a good mood like before ytd.

Hopeless case?

Is it me? Because I'm drifting away from everybody.

{edit}

Okay, change of plans. I heard a lot of people have the Samsung Touch Wiz F480 so I guess it's the F700 for me then. ):

Take my hand and hold it tight.

2008-08-10T08:34:00.002+08:00

I will start my Art at ten! (Or eleven. Because I procrastinate.) Yes, I will! I will, I will, I will! (Actually, I won't but I had better because if not, I'll sue!)

I feel very Jie Lin deprived because I spoke to her ytd and I miss her. ): Heehee. But Denise still sucks. >:D Jie Lin rocks. Hohoho. Go Jie Lin, down with Denise! :D

Argh, I've ranting rubbish. I've got to think of something proper to be typing manxz. >:( OKAY. I'VE GOT SOMETHING PROPER : CELINE ROCKS. CELINE ROCKS. CELINE ROCKS. (So does Wen Jun/Mok so no excuses, kids! Unlike Jie Lin and Denise, such different people. TSK!)

OHOHOH. I'M NOT GOING FOR TRNG TODAY BECAUSE I'VE GOT AN ASSESSMENT TO ATTEND TO LATER THIS EVENING SO I HAD BETTER GO GET READY FOR CHURCH. GOODBYE HAPPY READERS. :D

You don't know me but you make me so happy.

2008-08-09T18:20:00.004+08:00

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY, KIDS. :D

Mind over matter. Mind over matter. Mind over matter. OKAY, I'M GOOD TO GO. I hope.

Yay yay yay. I had the most productive trng I've ever had in the longest time today. Oh, I also finally got my hair cut. Now all I have to do is wait for my hair to grow again. :D

Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand.

2008-08-08T20:29:00.003+08:00

I loooove guitar tapping. It currently beats Switchfoot, Red and it might even beat Egg juggling! Oh, what love. (:

Sec four farewell today. Ponned National Day Celebration, thus coming in trng wear (I often get the 'Oh my gosh, you look so much like a guy in your trng wear!" so predictably, I looked like a guy today) to Toa Payoh, but trng didn't happen. Anyway, Eunice and Panya has been trying to act as my girlfriend today. It was such a horrible experience. ): Anti-Gay! Amanda, Courtney, Debra and Valerie were trying to get a photo of me with either Eunice and Panya so that they could Photoshop my face away and then, Eunice could go "MY BOYFRIEND, MY BOYFRIEND!"

After Sec four farewell, hit town and shopped a little. Then Uncle Walter's. After which, supposedly meant to go for club trng since private didn't happen but I guess I was tired so yes, I'm home and resting. (:

Tell me, what exactly, do I actually mean to you anymore?

So I'm telling you exactly what's on my mind.

2008-08-07T15:08:00.002+08:00

Today was mad tiring. Waking up at four AM and leaving house quite shortly after, reaching the airport and then sending Mag off. Two weeks without Mag, dieeeee. Breakfasted. And had school.

I love my Chem practicals. They're insanely fun. Oh yes, I was having one of those conversations like primary school boys, with Regina.

Celine : BISH BISH! K . O ! /pretends to be punching.
Regina : KA PAO! /pretends to be punching as well.
Celine : K. O. alrdy, you ka pao for what.
Regina : Noooo. I still can ka pao you.
Dianah : No violence in the Chem lab! >:D

Sighh, the things we do while waiting for Naphthalene to melt. SS was hysterical too. (:

Walked home with Nicoledemus today. I feel so short when I stand next to him. ): How annoying. Grow Celine, grooow.

I'm tired and I'll be sleeping soon. (Soon meaning, after I watch my weeklies :D) After which, down to Uncle Walter's! Uncle Walter is going to be so angry when he finds out that I'm going to ask him to redrill my ball again. ):

Big Lion-Bear-Cub Christian Hug!

2008-08-06T22:52:00.003+08:00

I'm down with the hiccups. >:( Hic hic hic.

Today was pretty much alright. (: I love my class to the extreme max! Hic hic hic. They're the most awesome class you can ever get manxz. Plus, our class having the most guitarist, there's never a problem with shortage of acoustic entertainment (Diane and Regina's in particular) Hic hic hic.

Ooooh, Christian the Lion gives adorable hugs! Go check it out manxz. Click HERE. Link passed to me by Gerald. When I grow up, I'm going to have one of my own. I even came up with a name for it : Mister Bing. (:

Okay, I've got to wake up very very early tomorrow morning so goodnight world. Hic hic hic.

Capture my heart again.

2008-08-05T16:15:00.006+08:00

I'm no one to be talking. But in my opinion if you take up a job, the job becomes your responsibility and if you want your respect, your responsibility would become your priority and clearly, you don't want your respect anymore. Today wasn't the first. You've got all of us frustrated.

I will start work at 530. I will start work at 530. I will start work at 530.

I'm hungryyyyy.

For such a happy day, booo. ): Tmrw's going to be absolutely horrible. Dislike league, can't stand league, despises leagueee. Kill me. >:(

I miss IJ Bowling Sec 3's. ): Argh, next week please come soon. Oh and Fun Group on 16th August, Jurong Superbowl! :D

Gerald watches P*! Don't 'cha deny it manxz. >:D

But you put on quite a show.

2008-08-04T15:15:00.000+08:00

I noticed that the full stops on my blog are rather hard to spot. As a result, I'll try to be typing like this from now on. (This will take me forever to blog. )

Anyway,

SS, please don't kill me tmrw even though you've never really taken a liking for me. But I promise I'll ~~try~~ to like you so then, you'll like me too! Be nice, SS, I come in absolute peace.

Art! I'm going to learn how to draw female figures! How cool right.

Chem, hohoho, test next week. Someone help me with Chem! Pretty please?

D, cheer up! I would attempt to cheer you up but I know eventually Taiwan would, and Taiwan would do a much better job at that so all I've got for you is this, .

Show the world the warmth of your smile.

2008-08-03T18:06:00.000+08:00

All the ones who love you, in the place you left.

you left, when you promised you would never.
tell me what went wrong.

i really dislike my bowling now, undone homework, i've yet to mug, and art's annoying! i can't believe i'm redoing my art all over again because i felt it was so, primary school-ish. maybe i should have taken home econs and burn the whole kitchen down. how fun!

i don't like sundays because it's the last day of the weekend.

Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help.

2008-08-02T20:41:00.006+08:00

insecure. there, i said it.

today was unexpected and severely life threatening. (due to cheryl's driving) oooh, today's first block of the circuit was pretty darn fun. bowled with siti, alongside regina, and daryl and jomin on our right, not forgetting greyz which was only two lanes away. on the heavier note, five pins handicap is so little for girls to be compared with guys please, plus, my bowling sucks. ahwell, two weeks from now will be the second-third of the circuit.

i need to go find entertainment now. goodbye people.

'Cause I'm tired of this fighting.

2008-08-01T14:52:00.002+08:00

i love my frosties.

i need to do so much work over the weekend. three tests, one art piece, one project + debate, and one math paper, all due this coming monday or the week after.

i'll keep trying, just one more time.

We'll never be the same, never feel this way again.

2008-07-31T19:40:00.008+08:00

further from everything, everyone, but nothing i can change.

so much left unsaid.

[edit]

to _, you're so distant, yet you always show the most concern. you always appear at the right time, at my weakest moments, and your simple few words never fail to make me feel so much better. you're one in a million, you really are. you mean so darn much to me. thanks hon, you're an awesome friend.

Starting all over, can we handle that?

2008-07-30T21:03:00.004+08:00

i told myself, i told myself i'd stand strong, even if alone. but why is it i just can't?

Are we just climbing or are we just waiting to fall

Starting all over, can we handle that?
~~We both know that we are the same~~
The roads we don't know them,
We've got no one else to blame.

This isn't turning...
This isn't turning...
This isn't turning out right

So save a place there for me.
I'll be back when I can find time to leave
Is this the ending?
Is this the way that we're made?

More than a love song can give.

2008-07-30T15:23:00.009+08:00

i want a polaroid - one step! wanna buy me one?

everything goes away.

All this time I've just been too blind to understand

2008-07-29T15:56:00.009+08:00

Ooooh, I'm going to try Chim typing. (Of which I never liked doing but well, I'm bored)

Something seems undone and I can't figure out what it is. It's been bugging me all afternoon and gosh, I'll sue.

This week's CA week and I'm going to fail Geography and Accounts, which bugs me. I'm too lazy to do my Math homework, which bugs me. I've got a Social Studies and Chemistry test next week, which bugs me. We've got a new english teacher, she bugs me. Life's a bugger! (Just like you eh, Eunice? )

I've been reading 'The Time Traveler's Wife' and it's really the best so far. I find myself becoming more of a book-worm now than ever, simply because school hours seem to be of what feels like forever. Not that I don't enjoy it because lately, school's been awesome. It's the intolerable lessons that I need entertainment for.

sometimes, i wonder.

There's a fear in me
It's not showing
This could be the end of me
And everything I know
Oh, I won't go

[edit]

EUNICE HENG SI HUI, threatening to kiss me will not work! anymore.

To think I just can't get you out of my mind

2008-07-28T17:12:00.004+08:00

i just spent a lot on mum's birthday present, i have undone work (besides school work), i have yet to study for my geog test tmrw, _ _ _ _, tmrw's trng got canceled, the circuit is pure cruel (to say the least), i still need a haircut, i've been pretty busy these few days and i'll be even busier during the next few weekends.

man, life is going to suck. ohohoh! i want vans.

i've always disliked being busy. because that's what kept you away from me since the beginning.

What would you do if my heart was torn in two?

2008-07-27T14:43:00.001+08:00

my art's so horrible, i'm screwed. my art's so horrible, i'm screwed. my art's so horrible, i'm screwed. i just hope it'll get me a good grade. though i doubt it will, but i can't really ask cheryl for help because she would never help me with my art. argh, art. how very fustrating.

okay, i'm done blogging.

do you still care?

[edit]

okay, i'm home and rushing through debra's art! yeah mann! i'm gonna complete it no matter what! anyhow, i need to cut my hair because i can't keep bringing cap out.

there's no such thing as no time. 'If you really wanted to, you'll find a way to do it.'

i hate myself so bad.

A Gunshot to the head of trepidation.

2008-07-26T22:15:00.003+08:00

I GOT A SQUISHY FILE!

today was super super super fun. had trng in the morning, got my new spare ball. wooo. after which, went out with tau to "study." i'm sorry i wasted half of your day, tau. then went to meet eunice in town. omgosh, the love. i annoyed her so much today. HAHAHA. i'm sorry, eunice. i won't do it again. heehee.

at top shop,
celine: -laughs crazily at eunice, very badly flustered-
eunice: -paying for her shoes-
cashier: why your friend so high one?
eunice: yeah! she, all day long like that!

HAHAHA. i enjoyed myself so much today. yay yay yay.

gosh, i miss you.

My best defense, running from you.

2008-07-25T14:33:00.007+08:00

The Lost Boy, "The two ultimate rules of being a foster child that I had learned while at Aunt Mary's were never to become too attached to anyone and never to take someone's home for granted. And I foolishly broken both rules."

i am neither a foster child, nor have i been to aunt mary's, but i think i might have broken both rules as well. i'm not happy nor am i proud of it, but strawberry pocky's there to perk me up!

i need to improve on my bowling. i need to get good grades. i need to do so much more.

i need answers.

Candles will illuminate the room.

2008-07-24T19:37:00.003+08:00

i wish something miraculous would happen and save my bowling and studies, i wish i was talented and smart. i really really do. oh and being hardworking would be a big big bonus.

training was a disaster. absolutely fun, but completely demoralising. oh gosh, celine, please work so very hard. you really need to. anyway, school was pretty fun too. these few days have been a babe, despite my horrible bowling always putting me down.

to denise:

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

don't give up okay? things might be going rough for you but rmbr, you told me, "what can't kill you makes you stronger." i've always been bearing that in mind and you've got to too yes? i've always believed what you say, that phase is no exception. so you've got to believe in it too! you're stronger than just running away. you are so much stronger. besides, i'll always be behind you, beside you, and anywhere else, supporting you. just like how you never gave up on me, i will never give up on you. stay strong, macho. i believe in you.

to courtney:

we'll always be your sunshine so please be happy. no matter what shitty day you undergo, we'll always be there cheering you on. let today be the first step of us proving that to you.

The world's got a funny way of turning 'round on you.

2008-07-23T16:20:00.002+08:00

i want you to be , not .

i'm hopeless. yes i am.

Don't mean I'm in love tonight.

2008-07-22T19:04:00.009+08:00

strike one:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PANYA, GIRLFRIEND!
(sigh. the effect of you constantly calling me 'boyfriend.' )

(pictures of 22nd july another day! amanda hasn't sent it to me yet. )

we couldn't get you a cake because your classmates were getting it for you, but i hope you liked your many many doughnuts replacement. though i'm sure you did. oh and i'm glad you enjoyed your birthday too.

i love you, panya. you know i do.

strike two:

i'm starting to believe eunice really is my translator, due to half the time, most people not understanding what i'm talking about and all the time, eunice being the only person that does. hence, eunice will have to explain to those other people. also, she would be the person i laugh at most now.

debra: let's talk in songs!
eunice: okay! *I kissed a girl and I liked it. The taste of her cherry chap stick. I kissed a girl just to try it. I hope my boyfriend don't mind it. It felt so wrong. It felt so right.*

EUNICE, YOU LEZZIE.

strike three:

training was awesome. school was awesome. today was awesome. PANYA SEOW'S BIRTHDAY IS AWESOME. I LOVE PANYA SEOW. and her birthday.

strike one! strike two! strike three! and you are outttt.

There's a world of difference when faith is in a heart.

2008-07-21T15:58:00.010+08:00

i'm in absolute love with xanga smilies.

thank you, eunice , for humoring me last night. and maybe you might not even realise it but whenever you're around, i'm always instantly perked up. thank you for always being there, always listening, and always helping. you're such an awesome friend, you know that? mister gay guy might be the salt of the earth, but you're the salt and pepper and garlic and onion (your favourite) and beansprout (yet another favourite) and cheese of the universe! how cool is that manz. very, yes i know. i love you so very much.

anyhows, back to today. i missed full marks, by a mere one mark, for our POA retest. i need to buck up manz. oh and lately, i've been reading the child called 'it.' as saddening as it is, it's rather boring. oh no, i've got undone math homework. well then, i shall go do it now. goodbye people!

But pain's a reaction.

2008-07-20T15:57:00.004+08:00

my patience is wearing me thin. this time, i'm done pretending. i hate this place. i hate this fucking place more than anything. the gloves are off, bitch.

i'm not going to let you affect me today. i'm not going to give you the satisfaction of winning. i'm better than that. i know it.

i'm going to update a normal post anyway. i was msging eunice this morning because i was really early for trng and bored. oh and i forgot i had a book in my bag so i stoned till this,

celine- "eunice, i'm bored and extremely early for trng. oh and my phone went sot ytd so i'm using the hell lousy spare phone. >:"
eunice- "Jeez. Do you wake up this early every weekend ? What time does your trng start ? No one you know is near you ?"
celine- "no choice what. :/ nobody is here. it starts at ten."
eunice- "Ohgosh. You are not extremely early. So suggestion one: go to the toilet and re-tie your hair, it will keep you busy till ten. Suggestion two: grab your bag and take a walk. Suggestion three: stone your life away. Trust me, you'll be good."

and there we have it, the retarded side of eunice. which btw, is a honour to be around because you don't see that side often.

It's playing over and over in my head, Where it'll end. Nobody knows.

2008-07-19T08:09:00.002+08:00

everyone has their form of escaping. i guess mine would be sleeping. i've been sleeping more often now than ever and it's quite relieving to know, every time i close my eyes and drift away, nothing else matters and it does reduce the time of existence. thus, less time for handling disillusions.

i dreamt of you last night, the old you. it felt so good to be around you, living on a visionary that you'll never let go. so why did you?

~~i haven't been talking to anybody much, makes me feel kind of lonely. heh.~~

/i hate this place so f-ing much.

Though you swear that you are true.

2008-07-18T09:19:00.006+08:00

during art,

mister ho: -stands behind marianne while she does her art-

marianne: -signs mister ho to go away-
mister ho: what what, chase me awayyy.
marianne: go go.
mister ho: i feel so used! ):

during geog,

annecy: how old are you?
miss yip: how can you ask such a direct question! 16.
annecy: yeahhh.
miss yip: how old do you think i am?
cheryl: 61!
miss yip: someone is going to fail her geog test!

anyway,
i've never really taken a liking for multi-media and to think we'd have to do it for art? bummer. i am neither talented nor good and i never seem to develop a self-teaching habit. graphics always has to be my downfall. learning and quoting from claris, "cheryl (my all powerful superhero woman sister) got into crowdar awards finialist(s)." i never understood how cheryl could be so charismatic in multi-media and sometimes, i wish i could self-teach myself graphics the way she does to herself.

so that's what my life is to you now? just a timetable? i tried to talk to you, nicely. today just answers everything i've been questioning.

'Cause you thought I was cheating but I think you don't wanna know.

2008-07-17T17:56:00.007+08:00

today was suuuuuper. :D though today did make me notice that while eunice and i are around each other, we do tend to isolate ourselves away from the other six. ): i'm sorry. HEH. but lunch was really funnn. :D

we were playing the number game, 1 to 100. so whoever guessed the number would have to do a forfeit. i got the forfeit first. ): i had to kiss the table, gross, i know, and to make it worse, just because eunice didn't see it the first time, i kissed it for a second time. michelle had to hug the table leg by the end of the cafe, which she barely did. no fun. ): amanda had to kiss the door frame, which was horribly embarrassing because there was a lot of we-don't-know-who's sitting by the door. we had a lot of ideas for eunice because most of the forfeits were suggested by her. first, she had to ask _ for his number, which i thought was awfully cruel so i told her not to. next, they wanted her to do push ups in the mids of the cafeteria, which amanda and i stopped her from because we thought it was awfully mean, once again, and since we all by now knew eunice had the balls to do anything. so i gave her the simplest dare, just to ask denise for her number. i thought denise would give her one of her more interesting rejects, not knowing she'd actually give her number. no fun. pfft. ): panya suggested that court kick _'s butt. which of course, she did not do.

we were making a lot of noise, having so much fun. when out of nowhere _'s teacher-in-charged raised his voice at us. oh, killjoy. i would totally understand if what he wanted was for us to lower our volume and if maybe he had asked us nicely, rather than shout at us, we wouldn't have acted so resentful. anyways, TRAINING TIME.

And forget the pain of yesterday.

2008-07-16T15:49:00.011+08:00

i need to lose weight.

i miss the bowlers so much. goodness, at least one of which is in the same class. (: i saw panya early this morning on the way back to class, my heart melted. (: i later saw eunice walking pass my class and during assembly, my heart melted a little more each time. (: with a clear view of court right behind her, my heart melted yet another time. (: on the way home, i almost ran into michelle. i was all smiles. (:

i didn't see amanda and val today, what a waste. ): well, tmrw's worth looking forward to. (:

back to today. today was awesome. (: POA was our first period, we finally got back our test results. all things considered, i did fairly well. alright, my grade was horrid but deliberating the facts of not studying, having forgotten that there was going to be a test, express getting the same paper, and two-thirds of our class failing with many getting 0-1 mark. i'm quite pleased. i do need to get my act together and buck up though. tmrw will be a retest since we didn't do well as a class. hence, i've decided to spend a little less time on art, just a little more on math, and the rest of which will be dedicated to accounts today. (:

i'm fat.

/i would kill, to have everything back the way it was.

Chasing thoughts from a million miles away .

2008-07-15T15:12:00.006+08:00

yay i have got the bestest classmates ever. :D and the bestest sec three teammates as well. :D

i enjoy school so much nowadays. it's been super duper awesome. (: (: (: but i really miss the bowlers oh so much. ): thursdayyy, please come quickkkkkk.

i told mummy that i didn't really feel like bowling today so i'll not be having trng today but suddenly, i really feel like i want to be bowling. :O maybe because i suck, which is why i didn't want to go bowl. >:{

anyhow, i'm hungry.

/nothing's going to change your mind, i know it.

'Cause when I'm looking in your eyes, feels like the first time.

2008-07-14T14:58:00.009+08:00

and yet you managed to give me another reason to dislike this household more just when i thought it couldn't get any worse.

thanks.

[edit]

bishbishpunchpunchwhackwhack. go die go dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

i need you to leave me alone. please. i'm like, suffocating, dying, stressing over the smallest things you do and it makes me want to kill.

TAKE ME AWAY TAKE ME AWAY TAKE ME AWAY.

[edit]

alright, i know it's getting ridicules at how many times i'm editing this post but i find myself with much to say today.

you've always been the sweetest thing on earth and sometimes, i really wish i could help you, but you always seem so distant. ): you're always there, always listening, always encouraging, and you never fail to let me feel assured that i can talk to you, even if we're not that close. i'm sorry i can't help you the way you always do for me, but cheer up hon. <3

-

xiao di di, thankz youz. (:

2008-07-13T19:38:00.004+08:00

honestly, i am rather annoyed with what you said to me earlier today. i wasn't taking sides and you should know. what more did you expect me to say? really, what more could i say? you asked me what did you mean to her, but now i ask you, what do i mean to you? anytime you wish to fire up, you just do? just as much emotion as you can accumulate, i can too. i was trying to calm you down, dammit. why do you have to take me the wrong way? try putting yourself in my shoes, what would you have said? it might have sounded like i was trying to defend her, but what more could i say? i tried to tell you not to be angry with her, but that's about all i could say, to the most. what was i suppose to say? "oh yeaaaah, she shouldn't haveee. go be more angry with her?!"

you weren't so short-tempered in the past and further more, if you'd think back. remember the incident where i was in the middle of you and _? you weren't even angry that i was talking to her and now what's this about? this is so trivial compared to what happened in the past.

I won't always love what I'll never have.

2008-07-13T14:24:00.005+08:00

Father, why did you put her in my life, to change me, to make me feel i had something in my life, to have me believe in friends, trust. all that, just to take her away from me? to add to the amount of people that truly mean something to me, to make the decision of leaving me? why? tell me why. eleven years ago, i felt the exact same thing. is this punishment? why?

art, i don't like you!
bowling, you don't like me!
studies, ah lets face it, we don't like each other. >:{

And I'm sorry everyday.

my teammate once told me, "if you really wanted to, you'd find the time. no matter how busy you are, you'll find the time." i'm sorry.

See it on the street, watching heat from the pavement.

2008-07-12T19:31:00.004+08:00

i find every excuse i can get, just to be away from you.

that's why.

went out with tau-zie today. :D it was soooo fun. getting cheap trills from going to stationery shops that are even older than i am, at beauty world and all. yayyy. THANK YOU TAU FOR THIS AWESOME DAY. :D

You're never gonna catch tomorrow.

2008-07-11T20:16:00.001+08:00

I'm sure I've seen this look before
Done a thousand times and a million more

How many lies did he tell this time?
How many times did he cross the line?
It won't help me but I have to ask

Is there something real that's behind the mask?
Something true we don't know about?
A little faith then a much to doubt

And maybe someday you will grow
Maybe someday you will know
Maybe someday you will end these tears and go

Cause baby you weren't the first or the last or the worst.

2008-07-11T15:00:00.008+08:00

the second photo is rather dark. awww, shuddap.

i can officially conclude that i am one tired kid. i took a thirteen hour supposedly nap ytd, and woke up at midnight only to find it already dark and not rmbring how i got to sleep in the first place, so i went back to sleep. speaking of which, i didn't sleep in lessons today, i'm very proud, yes i am. (:

claudia was so cute today. we were at the mother tongue classroom when claudia and eliza wanted to get something from our homeroom. as they ran, claudia was looking back at lao shi, when she turned around she immediately found herself running into the closed door. also, debra told claudia that she had a pet rock in her wallet/pouch-ie thingy like thing. so claudia went to search for the rock, not knowing debra was actually talking about her zen stone (mp3), claudia actually went to search for a real rock.

[edit]

why is this so screwed up? you lied to me again, you jackass. it's enough. it really is.

i thought of another issue.

_, don't go. i don't want you to go too.

It starts to carve into your bleeding heart.

2008-07-10T16:23:00.002+08:00

well, rushing through art definately isn't fun. i really don't like the fact that we're not allowed to bring certain art pieces home and we've got to stay back after school almost everyday to finish things up, use every single free period we get just for art, or maybe having to come back during the weekends to finish up.

just like how dianah said, "life sucks now. all it ever revolves around is, a lot of graphs, POA, and art!" anyhow, on the lighter note, today was rather fun. (: but chem made me think i was going to die because i came in contact with copper sulphate and nobody told me it wasn't acidic. pfft.

today's a break and clearly, i'm not spending it productively but who cares. :D i'm like it.

):

Now I'm caught in the middle.

2008-07-09T17:43:00.002+08:00

disappointing,

starting all over, can you handle that? don't go.

I loved you fire red, now it's turning blue.

2008-07-08T21:50:00.008+08:00

gosh, if you can't do your job, give the damn responsibility to someone else! everyone has been enduring this craaaaap for the longest time and who knows how many people wanted to sign a freaking petition.

I. AM. ANNOYED.

and so it court. HAHAHA. and eunice, and panya, and amanda, and debra, and rachel and idk.

[edit]

what am i doing wrong? why is it, everyone that becomes my closest friend, choses to abandon me? i don't want to experience that all over again. i don't want to feel so alone. i don't want the person that changed me, to leave me.

why is it, the people that gain my complete trust, always choses to leave me? what am i doing wrong? why is it they always turn their backs on me? why is it, i'm always left alone? i don't want you to go too. not like the others, not like him. don't.

it took me forever to learn how to trust again, don't leave me.

'Cause what consumes your thoughts controls your life

2008-07-07T00:21:00.004+08:00

this can get rather long,

♥selene . says: (12:26:01 AM)
why is the sea blue!
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:26:07 AM)
becauseee.
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:26:10 AM)
eh?
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:26:12 AM)
IT'S NOOOT.
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:26:15 AM)
IT'S POLLUTED.
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:26:18 AM)
IT'S LIKE.
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:26:19 AM)
BLACK.
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:26:22 AM)
OR GREY.
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:26:23 AM)
HAHAHA.
♥selene . says: (12:26:29 AM)
jajaj
♥selene . says: (12:26:31 AM)
!!!
♥selene . says: (12:26:32 AM)
nonono
♥selene . says: (12:26:35 AM)
GIVE UP!
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:26:42 AM)
OKAY (:
♥selene . says: (12:26:52 AM)
BECAUSE THE FISHES GO
♥selene . says: (12:26:56 AM)
BLUEBLUEBLUE
♥selene . says: (12:26:57 AM)
HAHAH!
♥selene . says: (12:26:59 AM)
OHOH
♥selene . says: (12:27:02 AM)
ANOTHER ONE
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:27:04 AM)
HAHAHAHAHAH.
♥selene . says: (12:27:09 AM)
I TELL YOU A JOKE OK
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:27:11 AM)
WTHECK RETARDED, CELINE!
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:27:17 AM)
ogay! :D
♥selene . says: (12:27:17 AM)
BUT FIRST I NEED YOU TO DO SMT
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:27:28 AM)
okay!
♥selene . says: (12:27:36 AM)
STEP 1 : GO AND TAKE A MIRROR
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:27:46 AM)
EEEE, NOOO. NOT AT NIGHT. HOW SCARY ):
♥selene . says: (12:27:47 AM)
STEP 2 : LOOK IN THE MIRROR
♥selene . says: (12:27:52 AM)
THERE THE JOKE!
♥selene . says: (12:27:54 AM)
GET IT GET IT
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:27:57 AM)
EH WAHLAOOO ):
♥selene . says: (12:28:00 AM)
HAHH
♥selene . says: (12:28:03 AM)
DONT SAD LA
♥selene . says: (12:28:05 AM)
JOKE ONLYU
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:28:08 AM)
HAHAHA.
♥selene . says: (12:28:27 AM)
YEAH!
♥selene . says: (12:28:29 AM)
OK ANOTHER
♥selene . says: (12:28:30 AM)
ONE
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:28:33 AM)
OKAY.
♥selene . says: (12:28:42 AM)
YOU WALK PASS A TREE
♥selene . says: (12:28:51 AM)
YOU WALK PASS TWO TREESS
♥selene . says: (12:29:02 AM)
THEN A COCONUT AND DURIAN DROP
♥selene . says: (12:29:09 AM)
WHICH ONE IS MROE PAIN
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:29:17 AM)
ERRRRR. DURIAN!
♥selene . says: (12:29:36 AM)
AHAHA
♥selene . says: (12:29:37 AM)
YORU HEAD
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:29:47 AM)
HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA,
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:29:52 AM)
SO RETARDEDDDDD.
♥selene . says: (12:30:12 AM)
AHAHH!
♥selene . says: (12:30:17 AM)
SO COOL RIGHT
♥selene . says: (12:30:17 AM)
I KNWO
♥selene . says: (12:30:20 AM)
CAUSE ITS ME
♥selene . says: (12:30:20 AM)
!!
♥selene . says: (12:30:21 AM)
AHAH
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:30:35 AM)
NOOOO, I'M WAY COOLER PLEASE!
♥selene . says: (12:30:54 AM)
NONO
♥selene . says: (12:30:59 AM)
IM WAYWAY COOLER PLEASE
♥selene . says: (12:31:00 AM)
HAAH
♥selene . says: (12:31:10 AM)
LOKOS WHO IS ENTERTAINING WHO NOW HUH
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:31:40 AM)
NOOO.
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:31:45 AM)
I'M STILL COOLEST. :D
♥selene . says: (12:32:02 AM)
YEAH
♥selene . says: (12:32:07 AM)
IN YOUR DREAMS
♥selene . says: (12:32:10 AM)
OHOH ANOTHER ONE
♥selene . says: (12:32:17 AM)
OK THERE IS THIS PERSON NAME CELINE
♥selene . says: (12:32:28 AM)
SHE HAS 3 STRANDS OF HAIR ON HER HEAS
♥selene . says: (12:32:31 AM)
HEAD*
♥selene . says: (12:32:42 AM)
WHY DID SHE PULL THE CENTER STRAND OUT
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:32:49 AM)
errrr.
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:32:59 AM)
BECAUSE SHE HAD NTH BETTER TO DO!
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:33:01 AM)
LIKE YOU.
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:33:01 AM)
:D
♥selene . says: (12:33:23 AM)
AHAH
♥selene . says: (12:33:23 AM)
NONO
♥selene . says: (12:33:27 AM)
THE CELINE IS YOU
♥selene . says: (12:33:27 AM)
HAHA
♥selene . says: (12:33:30 AM)
BECAUSE
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:33:35 AM)
NOOO. EH, YOU'RE CELINE TOO PLEASE.
♥selene . says: (12:33:35 AM)
SHE WANTED SENTER PARTING
♥selene . says: (12:33:36 AM)
HAHAH!
♥selene . says: (12:33:38 AM)
NONO
♥selene . says: (12:33:42 AM)
IM SELENE PLEASE
♥selene . says: (12:33:42 AM)
HAHA
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:33:45 AM)
HAHAHAHAHAHHAA.
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:33:47 AM)
NOOOO.
celine m. every time i try to walk away. says: (12:33:51 AM)
EH, I HAVE SIDE PARTING.

AHHH, SELENE (CELINE) I LOVE YOU. :D

[edit]

HAHAHAH, THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING, XIAO DI DI/LITTLE BOY. HAHAHAHA. :D

I will lift you off your feet, I'll keep you from sinking

2008-07-06T08:09:00.009+08:00

can you blame me? after all that i've been through, can you really blame me for not trusting you?

i'm not cut out for this, i know it.

But I can't look into the street
Without everything changing

I wanna read good news good news
I wanna be innocent again
I wanna read good news good news
But nothing good is happening

She waits all day
She stands a stranger in her skin
She moves the science with her hands
She lines her walls
With every paper she can see

-

I wanna be a little kid again , I wanna go to sleep at night again

make all this stop. please.

i miss the old you, but how long ago was that?

And everything that was taken can be restored.

2008-07-05T10:03:00.003+08:00

you couldn't stop for a minute to think how i'd feel.

stop lyring right into my face.

I feel like I'm spinning out of control

2008-07-04T22:58:00.003+08:00

i know i said whenever i'm feeling down, i would give you a call. but i just, don't know what to say.

but i can't keep pretending i feel nth either.

anyways, had CIP today. (: so we were excused from youth day games. WOOHOO. yeah lah yeah lah, i'm not spontaneous lah can! tsk! brought elderly around the school. (OHYESYESYES, I KNOW I'M SWEET, PANYA. :D)

mister gay guy is the salt of the earth!

after youth day celebration and what not, a few of us stayed back to do our art. ): pfft. but it was rather fun, i have to admit. (: plus! the super nice teacher-in-trng is going to help us beg mrs zili for time extension. hohoho.

trng. screwed up, but what's unusual. okay bye!

Keep driving till there's no where left to run

2008-07-03T15:45:00.005+08:00

OKAY, I TOOK OFF THE PREVIOUS POST DUE TO THE I-DON'T-WANT-TO-SEE-THAT-POST MOOD. :D

anyways, i'm feeling rather pleased that cdiv is in a mere six days! :D

YAY EUNICE EUNICE EUNICE EUNICE EUNICEEEE!

you're so much like him. oh, speaking of which.

Father's hands are lined with guilt, for tearing us apart.

2008-07-02T15:40:00.004+08:00

_,

Forgetting all the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come
And save me from myself

-

you left without bidding goodbye, what more could i say?

-

"but do you believe it?"
no, i don't.

[edit]

sighh. timo and alvin are over and making much noise. ohwell. (:

i need cdiv to start really soon. ): i neeeeeeed to spend time with eunice. ): badly. pfft.

i know it's only the second week of school but i feel so far behind. i need to catch up and decrease my class position. i've got to stop digressing inside my puny little thoughts, in the mids of lessons.

I'VE GOT TO STOP SCREWING UP AND START IMPROVING.

Desperate to hear his name on your breath.

2008-07-01T15:23:00.003+08:00

YAY I LOVE EUNICE HENG SI HUI!

i know how much my friends care. (: and it melts me so. (:

retreat was pretty alright, well both good and bad. before recess was totally boring. i slept throughout. HAHAHA. but after recess was awesome. :D sat at 3/8's area because i went to disturb eunice. funny stuff.

i'm lagging behind in school work but i'm sure i'll get the motivation to catch up soon enough. :/

happy birthday audrey + annecy + claudia!

yay yay yay, i love eunice!

It ain't easy, growin' up in World War III.

2008-06-30T19:45:00.005+08:00

went out with bryan, joleen, court, jeremy, roy and shawn today. :D it was so much fun! but we got to shop so little please. ): yay, i'm in a good mood now. (:

retreat's tmrw and i hope i cry this year because over the past few years, i didn't feel the least bit emotional and all i did was stone throughout the whole retreat. gosh. how boring. ):

today was one of the best day offs i've ever had! :D

shoutouts to a couple of people in particular :

COURT, :D
oh no oh no oh no. ): the smile is still stuck in my head. OH NOOO. ): but wait till eunice finds out about this. :D she'll go crazy! <3

EUNICE, :D
hohoho. hello boring. :D i miss having trng with you! and gosh, you keep giving me the 'smile' nowadays. ): it's freaking me out! THE SMILE IS FOR NICE PEOPLE ONLY. it's actually torturing to know that you've became nice! pfft. I LOVE YOU, LES. <3

PANYA, :D
i am neither your hunk nor your boyfriend so shooooo! <3

DENISE, :D
eh? actually i've got nth to say to you but what's a shoutout without you. :D so anyways, PIG = DENISE! I LOVE YOU, HEART BREAKER THAT TOLD ME IT WAS OVER AND TOTALLY SHATTERED MY HEART. PIANGGGG. <3

These words are my heart and soul.

2008-06-29T18:59:00.003+08:00

DENISE CHAN JIE LIN,

I LOVE YOUUUUUU.

AND THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD HAD BETTER KNOW THAT TOO!

But your picture on my wall, reminds me that it's not so bad.

2008-06-29T14:26:00.004+08:00

i don't care whatever the method, i've got to help you. i don't care why, i promised i'll never leave you. i can't stand thinking about you ever single moment of the day, trying to figure a solution, only to no avail.

HOW CAN I HELP YOU?

i have to do my homework, i have to do my homework, i have to do my homework, i have to do my homework, i have to do my homework, i have to do my homework, i have to do my homework, i have to do my homework, i have to do my homework, i have to do my homework, i have to do my homework, i have to do my homework, i have to do my homework, i have to do my homework, i have to do my homework, i have to do my homework, i have to do my homework, i have to do my homework, i have to do my homework.

His soul's escaping, through this hole that it's gaping.

2008-06-28T13:02:00.001+08:00

why?

And everyone's so fake, And everyone's empty, And everything's so messed up.

2008-06-26T19:54:00.002+08:00

): ): ):

Father, could you give me some direction please? the smallest hint will do. i feel as though i'm running around in circles, aimlessly. i really need you around so badly, i really do. i feel so empty. i feel so fragile. almost corresponding to the slightest trigger being able to break me down. i don't like this feeling. i feel so alone. lately, i've been seen through by almost everyone that takes a slight glaze at me, i don't know what to say when they ask me, "what's wrong?" all i could do was simply smile back at them. but it hurts me, God, what am i doing wrong? where did i go wrong? why am i such a failure, Father? i can't seem to get my life back on track no matter how much i try, i'm so close to giving up, Father.

today he asked about him, i didn't know what to say. i wanted to tell him that he never existed in my life and the only Father i had was you but how could i? Father, what's wrong with me? why can't i just let go? what's wrong with me? why can't i just forgive, and forget, even if that meant dissembling he was never there.

God, i miss her. she's in so much pain. can you help her please? because i know, nobody else can. Father, i miss her.

Father, i can't seem to concentrate on anything these days. i really need to, i really do. everything important is coming up and where my soul is meant to be, is nowhere near found. Father, i don't want to drift away from you. Father, my life is causing me so much misery and nowadays, i can't help but show significations. Father, i really, truly, want her to be happy. please, could you help her through? i beg of you. Father, i want it so badly but there's a part of me that continuously believes, i can never attain it. am i really that hopeless, Father? Father, nobody else seems to be able to give me an answer when i ask, i pray that you could somehow, tell it to me. no matter what, Father, I Love You. i pray you hear my cry, in Jesus name i pray, Ahem.

This time, it was different. It felt like I was just a victim.

2008-06-25T20:25:00.005+08:00

TODAY WAS YET ANOTHER GREAAAAT DAY. :D

what an awesome bunch. (:

today was our last day and it was also the best. what started off as total boredom and awkwardness became something really special. who knew after one year, we would draw so close. to the extent where we hear people saying we're the closest group. though at times, a little irritation and frustration kicked in, it all became really good memories that we live upon. i never thought i would feel the slightest after-effect by leaving but it was actually, quite strong. leaving everything behind seems to be the biggest step of all but who knows. i promise if i do have to leave, if i do have to let this go due to circumstances, i'll work ten times harder to keep my end of the deal. i promise.

so much screaming today and crap shots. (: after trng, siti's birthday celebration was the best. (: damn, i'm going to miss them so bad and i almost reduced myself to tears today, bummer. ): but then again, SAM'S HOUSE SOON. :D

i don't want to be useless, i don't.

In this land of make-believe, dead and dry.

2008-06-24T19:29:00.005+08:00

TODAY WAS GREAAAAT :D, and all i have left to say is I REALLY, REALLY, REAAAALLY, LOVE EUNICE, AMANDA, PANYA, COURTNEY, DEBRA, AND VALERIE. <3

oh yes, but eunice freaks me out when she tries to act all lesbian-ish.

i've got to meet the cut, i've got to.

today was awesome, best of many. but why is it i still feel horrible? why is it i still can't get my mind off you? why is it today, i let so many things affect me?

Suppose that I missed you
Suppose that I cared.
And suppose that I've spent all my nights running scared
And suppose that I was never there.

And my eyes are screaming for the sight of you
And tonight I'm dreaming of all the things that we've been through
And I can't hold on to you.
So I guess I feel lonely, too.

Suppose we were happy,
Suppose it was true.
And suppose there were cold nights,
But we somehow made it through
And suppose that I'm nothing without you.

Tell me what makes you think you're invicable.

2008-06-23T20:28:00.007+08:00

stay close, don't go.

and i'm still living by a dream.

first day of school was horrendous. ): well, not really. it just felt really weird to see everyone again, though quite a pleasant feeling. oh, and all my nice teachers left ij, leaving me with. no nice teachers. ): but congrats to court and amanda for getting miss jo teo as their new form! HAHAHA.

i feel horrible now, ):

kay, how scary. my awfully cute grandma just came out from behind me, while i was typing this post and read like. everything. HAHAHA. oh nooo. ):

[edit]

adjejcneocjnoeeodxnbnwisnqmzascrewedupshitwnzqsw.

For you're the sun that breaks the storm

2008-06-22T22:29:00.002+08:00

thinking about it this way, it makes me feel so upset for you. i knew your life was hard, but the more i think about it, i just feel for you. i'm breaking down. i really want to help you, be there for you, be your friend. but will you let me? it doesn't have to be me but let someone in, please? i earnestly can't stop thinking about you, can't stop worrying for you.

please, be the same person you were back then. don't be so afraid that one day, people will leave you or betray you. trust, that's all it takes. faith, it's all you'll ever need. there's just so much i wish i could tell you, so much i want to help you with. the more you tell me you're alright, the less i believe you, the more added concern i have for you. won't you let me be your friend? won't you please?

why do you always take responsibility for more than you should have to bare.

won't you, please?

my friend, you mean so much more to me than anything.

And right now there's a war between the vanities

2008-06-22T13:19:00.004+08:00

if you could just find it in you, to trust me again. tell me this ain't over, because i need you so bad.

Well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin
It might start now.. Yeahh
Well maybe I`m just dreaming out loud
Until then
Come home
Come home
Cause I`ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long

do you think we could go back then? do you think you could still let someone in?

We'll say our goodbyes, you know it's better that way

2008-06-21T16:20:00.003+08:00

i started my day on a very very light note. waking up to hear a "very nice" from both of my sisters, complimenting my first holiday art piece and it's probably the highest compliments i have ever got from both cheryl and claris. went for training soon after and it actually felt really good, and this time, i didn't dwell over all that stuff. (: (: (: (:

as soon as i came home, i started on my second holiday art piece and my piece refuses to come out of the paper and that annoys me so. >:( i think i wouldn't be scoring for this piece which does complete unjust to my first piece. oiiiiiii, second piece, you suck. >:(

OKAY, BACK TO ART.

now i can't stop thinking of all that crap.